Monday, January 17, 2011

Back Bending is Good For You


This just in:  Back bending is good, nay, great for you.  It is great for your back, your bend, your spine, your soul, and here are 8 reasons you have not thought of, on why that is:

Running to something and running from something is the same thing.  If that's the case, why run when you can back bend?  Of course you can always try running while in a backbend and I highly do not recommend that unless you are auditioning for "Crabs on Ice".

Nothing is going back to the way it was.  While this is true, the closest that a person can get to getting the spine back to the way it was when it was flexible and strong, is by back bending.  We have found the Fountain of Youth and that is Back Bending.

If “Everyday I Write the Book” by Elvis Costello is the most intellectually satisfying pop song ever written, the back bend is the most intellectually stimulating yoga move ever done by man.  Don't believe me?  Try back bending several times a day.  Doing this will re-energize and revitalize your brain cells, getting you that much closer to Einstein's I.Q. each time you back bend.  Who knows?  You may be that much popular with your friends, just by back bending.

Speaking of being popular amongst your friends, backbending will make you popular on social networking sites also.  Tweet, update your status Facebook, or blog on your Blog about back bending.  You are guaranteed at least one more follower, "Like", or positive comment on your social network site of choice, all because you express to the world your newfound love and knowledge of back bending.

"Can I get your digits?" 
"Sure."
"Want to go back bend next Friday night at 7pm?"
"I'd love to!"
Dinner and a movie, bowling, and coffee outings are so last-season.  Pick an activity that is interesting, fun, and both you and your hunny bunny will get a benefit out of.  Did I mention back bending is free???  Now that's what I call a great date.

What if I'm single?  What if this and what if that.  Back bend and find yourself with a happy and beautiful spine.  Happy and beautiful spine = happy and beautiful YOU.  I guarantee you will get more dates than you ever dreamed of.  And if you happen to be single, enjoy it because you won't be for long.  You are not the only one that is falling in love with your happy and beautiful spine...others will fall in love with it too. 

What humans can achieve when we are not sidetracked by religion or political ambition is simply breathtaking.  I read an article once about a woman who was in a horrifying car crash that crushed her spine.  The doctors told her she would never walk again and boy did she prove them wrong.  Slowly and over a period of several years, she completely healed her spine by back bending.

Do you do the following?
-Eat
-Sleep
-Walk
-Sit behind a computer reading this article?
If you answered yes, chances are you are forward bending.  A back bend is a back bend for a reason.  The bend is made for your back, hence the name, back.  If we were meant to forward bend (which we do so much anyways), the back would be called forward.  Back bend.  Enough said.

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